Yesterday I wrote a piece for the Atlantic revisiting David Letterman’s infamous 1995 stint as the host of the Oscars. This gave me an opportunity to discuss other notable failures, such as Seth MacFarlane (2013) and James Franco/Anne Hathaway (2011). This got me thinking—which Oscars hosts have done it right?
The first name that comes to mind is Billy Crystal, who has hosted it more often than anyone else in my lifetime. There’s also Whoopi Goldberg and Steve Martin, who held their own. But none of them have really nailed it in the way that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have with the Golden Globes. For whatever reason, Oscars hosts always seem annoying, superfluous, and ultimately unnecessary. Which leads to a modest proposal—let’s get rid of Oscar hosts entirely.
Last night served as a perfect example of why. The host was Neil Patrick Harris, a first timer who stepped in when Ellen DeGeneres, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and others reportedly turned the Academy down. As an experienced host of the Tonys and Emmys, there was every reason to believe that Harris would be adequate—but he really wasn’t. The energy of the show sagged whenever Harris was on stage, and nearly all of his jokes landed with a thud. Even his opening act—a musical number designed to display his range of talents—was salvaged only when Jack Black rushed the stage.
Fortunately, the night was saved by the winners themselves, whose acceptance speeches were unusually forthright, genuine, and touching. Rather than rattle off a litany of names, many of last night’s remarks instead promoted causes: equal pay, immigration, suicide awareness, civil rights, ALS research, Edward Snowden, and (bless you J.K. Simmons) calling your mother. The emotional peak of the evening was the performance of “Glory” by Common and John Legend, who would subsequently win the Oscar for Best Original Song. Several in the audience—and I’m sure many more watching at home—were moved to tears.
But like a recurring rash, Harris kept reappearing on stage. Just imagine if he wasn’t there. Award winners could have given acceptance speeches without being rushed by the inane “get off the stage” music. Musicians could have performed the entirety of their songs. Presents wouldn’t have to introduce two Best Picture nominees at a time. The annual remembrance of Hollywood’s dead could have actually included everyone who passed away.
It would have been so, so much better. So here’s hoping the Academy comes to its senses and taps “none of the above” for hosting duties next year.
A few extra thoughts:
- I liked Birdman and thought Michael Keaton and Edward Norton, in particular, deserved acting awards. But it had no business beating out Boyhood for Best Picture. As Oscar travesties go, this one isn’t too bad—we’re not talking Crash, here. But it’s still a big disappointment for a director, Richard Linklater, who surely is one of the best of his generation. Hats off to Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, though, a great director who deflected Sean Penn’s asinine Green Card “joke” and gave a tremendous acceptance speech.
- I was pleased, however, that the best movie of all that I saw last year (Ida) won Best Foreign Film. Everyone should watch it. It’s even on Netflix.
- Can you believe Julie Andrews is 79 years old? Her obvious delight with Lady Gaga’s Sound of Music medley was one of the better moments of the night.
- Two notable omissions in the remembrance part were Joan Rivers and Jan Hooks. But James Bond fans likely noticed that Richard Kiel, who played Jaws, wasn’t mentioned, either. And that’s a shame.
- There are only two possible explanations for Terrence Howard’s on stage performance last night. Either he was really, genuinely moved by The Imitation Game, or he was bombed out of his mind. Your guess is as good as mine.
- On the list of actresses I’d like to enjoy a boozy brunch with, Patricia Arquette ranks near the top.
- I liked how Common gave a shout out to Hong Kong’s protesters during his and John Legend’s acceptance speech for “Glory.” But as Kenny G can tell you, he might encounter a problem if he ever wants to perform in China.
- John Travolta’s gradual evolution from teen heartthrob (’70s) to comeback kid (’90s) to embarrassing uncle (’10s) has been, at the very least, entertaining.
- Dakota Johnson’s reaction to Melanie Griffith’s comments on Fifty Shades of Grey was priceless. Even 25-year-old actresses who star in movies about BDSM feel uncomfortable talking about sex in front of their mother.
- And finally, because it needs to be said again and again, Meryl Streep is a treasure.
…